Often one of our abiding fears in life is death. Yet this persistent anxiety and worry around an inevitable event is a losing battle.How can we improve this relationship towards such a certainty?
The major differentiating attribute of humans compared to other forms of life is that we have an awareness of our own mortality.
Montaigne the 17th century essayist and philosopher when considering the fear of his death calls for dissipating it by facing it head on, with awareness and attention — an approach common in Eastern spirituality.
In the West, we identify movement and pace when reflecting on progress.Yet it is by staying still and going within, asking ourselves deep questions about our thoughts and fears that we can hope to move forward towards a reconciliation on this subject.
If we take the time to consider and understand what instills fear in us when considering death and dying, we can then understand our underlying concerns and priorities.
So it is helpful to take time to contemplate if we had a choice around the setting and tenor of this event in our life and take into consideration many varying factors. These can include location such as home or hospice, physical comfort, time with family and friends or solitary time. Consider what are our priorities. Is music or a religious/spiritual person wanted. How do we wish to deal with pain, anxiety, are these factors that worry us? Is isolation a concern?
Does religious ritual or involvement play a part. Have we considered our legacy and its implementation? In tackling questions such as these, we put together a plan of how we would like this time in our life to look. We reflect on relationships that might need addressing, or reconciliations that may need to take place. It is encouraging and pertinent that once we examine this type of question we feel more comfortable that our setting has the potential to be one that will give us solace and help to reduce anxiety. We have our own individual beliefs and thoughts are around leaving this physical realm.
Implementing such a plan begins with conversation and the preparedness to open up to such a discussion. A Sacred Life Doula can be the impartial yet practical and comforting presence that can work as a catalyst for a consciously simple assessment of such a plan.It is distinctly personal how we approach this topic. Some families have the cohesiveness and strength to tackle such thoughts on their own, but many of us need some guidance and help.
We are moving into a period of reawakening consciousness around our approach to end of life. Traces of forgotten knowledge and customs are reemerging. The sacredness of this time and the connectedness of all life and its experiences are moving us towards a deeper understanding of life which includes death.